Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    13 Republicans Identify As Democrats And Vote For Infrastructure Bill

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Thirteen House Republicans broke ranks and came out identifying as House Democrats to vote for the massive infrastructure bill.

    President Biden hailed the bill’s passage as historic and something the People’s Republic of China would be proud of and thanked his fellow Republicans who identify as Democrats.

    “I have always felt that I was a Democrat,” said Rep. Adam Kinzinger, one of the Republicans who voted for the bill, “I have always identified as one who wants free stuff and as one who wants to spend other people’s money. And while I was born as one who wants this country to prosper I have always known deep down in my heart that I want America to go away — I just want this country to fall to utter ruin. With this historic vote we are well on our way.”

    Rep. John Katko, another Republican who identifies as a Democrat, had this to say, “I have always known that I was a non-binary Democrat and this opportunity to spend money that doesn’t cost anything was the perfect way to truly be who I always knew I was.”

    The rest of the thirteen Republics declined to comment but insiders say that they struggled between identifying as a Democrat and a Socialist but in the end realized that the agenda is one and the same.

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