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    Americans Travel To The Border To Be Separated In Order To Pay For Christmas

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    With the highest inflation in over 30 years, many Americans are seeking new ways to pay for Christmas and they may have just found the answer.

    Thousands of American families from all over the country are traveling to the US-Mexico border in hopes to be separated from their love ones. For most they see the plan as a guaranteed way to secure over $400,000 dollars to help pay for Christmas. For others they see it as a way to pay off prior years Christmas splurges.

    “I know it will be tough,” says Mary Henderson, “but I need to do this for my family. I know the large government payment won’t cover all of the Christmas costs this year — I mean last I looked a turkey was over a thousand dollars — but at least it will help pay for some of Christmas.”

    “I stockpiled a room full of toilet paper and hand sanitizer last year that I still need to pay off,” said Erica Pilstin. “I’m hoping to get my family separated by the government a couple times to buy future hordes of toilet paper and pay for Christmas as well.”

    President Joe Biden has said that it is only right to pay people large sums of money for all illegal activities committed at our borders. “Begin quote,” said Biden, “I believe it is written in our constitution that anyone who breaks the law should get paid half a million dollars. For this reason we will be moving the government to the Texas border to help fund it and avoid future shutdowns.”

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