Thursday, June 13, 2024

    Animal Kingdom Protests Their Use As Mascots

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    Sports teams have been put on notice to remove all names and likenesses to animals from their team names. In the wake of cancel culture, animals are calling for a cancellation of their images from all sports.

    Animal whisperer, Tim Whatsack, says that animals have had enough of their images being used to promote sports. “The animals have spoken to me and they are extremely hurt by their likeness being used to promote a teams name. The animal kingdom has whispered to me and they are so hurt by their names being used by all teams from peewee to professional — and they want it to stop immediately.”

    Not long after Whatsack made that announcement did animals all around the world start to behave oddly. Birds stopped singing, big cats stopped roaring, and dogs stopped wagging their tails. Zoo animals refuse to come out into the open and all pets have shown there supports by going on hunger strikes.

    Spokesperson for PETA, Allen Jefferson, had this to say about the recent events, “This crime has gone on long enough, animals suffer every time a sports team takes to the field or court wearing the image of an animal. Well, they have had enough, we must put an end to this hurtful action.”

    Profession sports teams are scrambling to subsume to the mounting political pressure and feverishly searching for new names for their teams, many of them opting to go just go nameless.

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