Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Ashley Biden’s Diary Found At Nakatomi Plaza

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    LOS ANGELES — Thirty-three year after the attack that changed our Christmas forever rumors have surfaced that the terrorist group Project Veritas is in possession of the governments most top secret files — the Ashley Biden diary.

    At approximately 9:21 pm police received a call that President Joe Biden had arrived at Nakatomi Plaza by helicopter in attempts to recover said diary.

    Early reports confirmed by the LAPD also suggest that former President Donald Trump is also inside the building.

    “We are in contact with the former President, who was attending a Christmas party at the Plaza when the current President arrived,” stated Sgt. Powell. “Trump has told us that the current President is after the diary — that he will stop at nothing to keep its secrets from the public.”

    At approximately 10:01 pm gunfire rang throughout the cold black night as one man who is believed to be Trump swung from the roof top and crashed into the upper floor windows.

    Die Hard Trump

    “We have conformation that Biden has plans to unleash a ban on ice cream on the city if the former President doesn’t give himself up,” reported Sgt. Powell.

    Fog crept over the face mask litter asphalt as radio silence filled the night. We all awaited in anxiety filled anticipation of what was going on inside Nakatmoi Plaza.

    Then without warning, a deep cough from President Biden broke onto the radio, “Ahem! Ahem! Excuse me my grandson gave me his cold and he loves his pop pop — end quote. Trump if you’re listening — give me the diary or I will unleash a barrage of mandates on the people that goes well beyond taking away their ice cream. I will cripple the nation even more than I already have — even more than the Governors of Los Angeles and New York.”

    Die Hard Biden

    Silence rang through the Christmas night.

    “Never!!” Trump yelled. “I will never hand over the diary — the people deserve to know!”

    “Ahem. Ahem,” coughed Biden. “Hand it over or I will do the unthinkable — I will resign and give the cackler the Presidency.”

    Silence struck the night once more.

    “You win,” said Trump. “Your secrets are not worth her becoming President — I will do the unthinkable — I will concede.”

    Merry Christmas from Spaghetti Thumbs
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