Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Biden Explains To America That Crude Oil Has Nothing To Do With Gasoline

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden announced this morning that the American public has no understanding of how oil and gas prices are related.

    “The economy and production and consumption of gas is blatantly unrelated to the production of oil,” said the President. “If two people were eating dinner and one person said to the next why are gas prices so high — the other person would not know what the first person was talking about. Only the President can understand complex matters. They are just eating lunch — they just wouldn’t understand prices and stuff.”

    After walking away from the press conference, Jen Psaki further explained what the President really meant by his statement. “The President fully understands the economic situation and will shut down all pipelines in order to give relief to the people at the pump. By cutting off the oil supply and demanding that OPEC produce more oil the President knows that gas prices will fall greatly in a matter of days.”

    Top economists and Democrat, Jarvis Henderson, made a complex flow chart to show that what the President said is true. “As you can see by this overly perplexing chart I have demonstrated that the President is the only person that fully understands that by reducing the key element that produces gasoline that the production of said commodity will fall and gas prices will rise — wait did I do that right?”

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