Thursday, June 13, 2024

    Biden Finds Tiki Idol Says Will Bring America Good Luck

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden announced this morning that he has found a Tiki idol that will rescue American from bad policies and in return bring good luck.

    Returning from his island get away on Nantucket for Thanksgiving, President Biden announced that he has found a way for America to heal from his disastrous first year as President.

    Biden took to the podium this morning wearing the Tiki around his neck and delivered these words, “My Thanksgiving in a lavish mansion with the biggest turkey ever cooked and all the fixings a king could ask for, all paid for by your tax dollars, was truly amazing,” Biden whispered. “But the truly most amazing part of my holiday was the discovery of an ancient and magical Tiki idol that will bring America good luck and will fix all the problems that have been created by me — I mean by the Trump administration.”

    Biden paused as he focused intensely on the teleprompter and just as he was about to explain exactly how the Tiki idol would repair America he was quickly rushed out of the press room due to an extra large tarantula that found its way onto the podium.

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