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    Biden Hires Big Bird To Replace Fauci

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden announced this morning that he has hired Big Bird to replace Dr. Anthony Fauci as the Chief Medical Advisor to the President.

    Many White House staffers believed that the President was looking for someone more qualified for weeks now amid allegations of Dr. Fauci participating in dog fights.

    “Today I would like to thank Mr. Big Bird for his courage and stance on getting vaccinated,” said the President. “Mr. Big Bird will not only gain the trust of so many Americans, but he will also single wingedly deliver us out of this pandemic.”

    Republicans want to oppose the move as a political vise that will no doubt be used as left-wing propaganda, but realize also that Big Bird is much more capable than Dr. Fauci and that while they don’t necessarily like the move, they can’t complain too much.

    “This is out right propaganda to get more democratic votes. This is the President’s first step in a plan to get more children to become socialist — his next step is to lower the voting age to 3 — but Big Bird will do a better job than Fauci,” said Senator Ted Cruz.

    Sources close to Spaghetti Thumbs report that the President may be looking to hire Cookie Monster as head of the FDA.

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