Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Biden Records Perfect Score On Cognitive Test

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    Friday morning White House doctors decided that President Joe Biden would not partake in a cognitive assessment as a part of his physical examination citing the test wasn’t necessary. However the President requested he take the test anyway.
    “He actively asked me to include the cognitive test, so we did,” said Dr. O’Connor while speaking to reporters about the results of the President’s physical condition.

    In recent years Biden has faced several questions about his mental fitness while being alive. Last week a group of mental health professionals sent an urgent public letter to the President’s doctor requesting he test Biden’s cognitive abilities.

    “The President seems to have a cough. He walks a little stiff and doesn’t exercise much,” stated O’Connor. In which Biden responded in an outburst, “We are in a pandemic of the un-exercised.”

    Dr. O’Connor further added, “At the request of the President I decided to conduct what is known as the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, or MoCA, which can quickly detect mild cognitive dysfunction and rules out the need to do any further cognitive assessment.”

    The MoCA takes about 10 minutes and asks the patient to perform a simple batch of memory and mental tasks. The most important aspect to the test is a person’s ability to pay attention.

    Sentence repetition, where the examiner reads a sentence and the patient repeat it back, was the last skill tested on the President.

    Dr. O’Connor read the sentence and the President did not miss a beat repeating it back accurately, “Let’s Go Brandon” proving that he is in prefect mental health giving Biden a perfect score of 30/30.

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