Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Biden Releases 50 Million Gallons Of Sour Cream

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden announced this more that he has released 50 million gallons of federal reserve sour cream.

    “No one understands the issues facing the common American more than me, after all I was born in Scranton,” Biden laughed before turning a serious face. “Sour cream is essential and important to all citizens and non-citizens, that is why I have ordered 50 million gallons of sour cream be released from the federal reserves. This will help lower prices for those who desperately need sour cream.”

    “Not so fast,” says cream expert, Joseph Sandaval. “Creams are a delicate source of fat, especially sour cream, and unfortunately the President is releasing grade Z sour cream, a highly undesirable cream — let’s just say it’s not the kind of cream you want on your tacos.”

    China, however, has welcomed the lower price of the federal reserve sour cream in which Biden has sold 49 of the 50 million gallons to.

    “This grade Z sour cream has a unique flavor that intensifies the meaty dog fat, says David Cho, a restaurant owner in Beijing. “My restaurant has never been more crowded — I can’t catch dogs fast enough.”

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