Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Biden Says High Gas Prices Due To Gas Getting COVID

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden’s economic advisors defend his policies of spending more money than they have and say rising gas prices are because gasoline has become sick with COVID-19.

    “The pandemic is to blame for the surging prices at the pump,” said President Joe Biden. “Cases are surging so gas prices are surging. This is easily explained by the fact that gasoline has had a breakthrough case of COVID-19 and therefore is not able to meet the demands of the public. Most Americans can’t understand that when something surges than another something surges.”

    Health expert Dr. Anthony Fauci released these comments, “Gasoline comes from organic compounds made up entirely of hydrogen and carbon atoms. These atoms were once alive and since they were once alive they can contract viruses especially the COVID-19 strain. Because gasoline has been infected, the supply curve is questionable and thus now must charge more money until the supply curve is flattened — it’s all about the curve. We are working closely with the White House to develop specific mandates to flatten said curve.”

    Pfizer-BioNTech is currently seeking emergency approval of a vaccine to cure gasoline from the deadly virus that could spread to cars, motorcycles, and eventually cows which in turn would be released in a deadly mutated form of methane.

    The FDA is set to vote on approval of the of a booster shot for the original vaccine-adjacent shot which has yet to be approved for gasoline.

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