Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Biden Says More Oil Production Needed To Curb Global Warming

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning President Biden announced an ambitious plan in the fight against global warming.

    “Yesterday I issued a call to OPEC to ramp up production of oil,” said the President. “This is not about supplying relief for the American people but it is about something much more important — climate change. We simply must put more fossil fuels out there to combat climate change.”

    After a quick nap at the podium (a nasty side effect of global warming) the President continued his speech, “Meanwhile to do our part to further produce of more fossil fuels and help with production, I have ordered that there be no more drilling on Federal land. Our gas prices and more importantly the future of our weather depends on other countries — we are the greatest country in the world and now we will rely on Russia to produce more oil for us,” stated the President then in a whisper added “— it is the only way!”

    Environmentalists and economists all over the globe are still to busy scratching their heads and unable to provide a comment about the new policy and direction of this county. However, Spaghetti Thumbs will report as soon as they stop scratching their heads long enough to comment.

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