Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Biden To Pay For College — Says It Won’t Cost A Single Red Cent

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    Parents of high school students woke up this morning to some welcomed good news — their kids would get a free college education.

    “The President and his administration believe that this is the most important act that they can take, next to doubling our population and crippling our tax system,” stated Jan Psaki this morning. “This administration strongly believes that everything should be free, and while we are working on other such items like free healthcare and free housing — we are excited to announce that we have successfully printed enough money to give free college to all qualifying Americans.”

    Who will qualify for the Free Education Act? Jan Psaki stated that all non citizens would qualify for the program while citizens born to non citizens would also qualify. However citizens that were born to parents who were natural born citizens would not qualify at this time.

    When asked about the cost of such an ambitious program. Psaki give this statement, “Like I said before, because we have been printing money around the clock since January this program will not cost the American public one single red cent.”

    EDITORIAL NOTE: The rest of this article was not finished because all of our staff at Spaghetti Thumbs quite to go back to college in order to get their Masters degree.

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