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    Border Patrol Discovers Tunnels For Californians Trying To Escape Into Mexico

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    SAN DIEGO, CA — California Border Patrol agents discovered a five mile long tunnel stretching from the Southern most point of San Diego across the border into Mexico.

    Worried that the tunnel was used to smuggle sombreros into the United States, Border Agents kept a close eye on the area only to notice that a different kind of smuggling was going on. Agent Jose Jose gave this statement, “In all my 65 years on the job I have never seen anything like it. I was expecting to see large sombrero hats coming up out of the tunnels — but instead we saw hundreds of Californian citizens fleeing from the State.”

    It is believed that Californians were in fact escaping into Mexico to flee from the many problems that plague the State. One such man who we had the opportunity to speak with had this to say, “I can no longer afford to buy the bean and cheese burritos in the State and my family is beginning to starve. Me and my wife made the decision to leave California so that we can buy affordable bean and cheese burritos.”

    Spaghetti Thumbs update: At the time this article went to press there was only one such tunnel reported. But recent reports say that there are now more than a thousand tunnels.

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