Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Bulls Everywhere Are Crying Over Baseball’s Use Of The Word ‘Bullpen’

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    PETA has launched the EAST Project (Emotional Animal Support Task force) in their mission to help bulls everywhere who have become both chronically and emotionally hurt by Baseball’s use of the word ‘bullpen.’

    “Bulls are humans too and just as words hurt us they hurt them as well — even if they don’t know they are being said,” stated PETA spokesperson Sky Flower. “We need to be their voice. Bulls are greatly hurt by the Baseball’s use of the word ‘bullpen,’ that is why we have launched the EAST Project. We have formally asked that the MLB stop using the word, which brings feeling of genocide to bulls everywhere. Together we can eradicate this gross atrocity!”

    PETA is not the only one to notice this hurtful act against bulls. “I wasn’t sure what was going on at first. Old Betsy just wasn’t the same. I could tell that something was wrong,” said Bill Smith, a tenth generation farmer in rural San Francisco. “Then I was watching the World Series and when they brought in the closer from the bullpen — I just about died. I knew it instantly that’s why old Betsy was so hurt. She just had to be an emotional mess from MLB using such racist and derogatory terms.”

    The MLB has not responded to the hurting of bulls feeling as of yet, but Spaghetti Thumbs will continue to get to the bottom of this.

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