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    California Cancels All Hockey Games Due To Drought

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    CALIFORNIA — Late this afternoon California governor Gavin Newsom canceled all hockey games played within the state due to a massive drought that only he knows about.

    “California is under attack from nature,” said Newsom. “She has hit us hard with a lack of water — California is in a sever drought and therefore I have taken it upon myself to cancel all hockey games so that we can use that water for higher priorities.”

    City mayors from Los Angeles and San Jose praised Newsom for his swift action in saving the State close to 30,000 gallons of water.

    “Instead of this water being wasted on hockey ice it can be used to save thousands of lives,” said Los Angles Mayor Eric Garcetti. “We have been told by the governor that our city will be getting approximately 1,000 gallons of water of which will be diverted to homeless shelters for coffee. Safety is our number one priority.”

    When asked where the rest of the unused hockey ice would be diverted, Newsom had this to say. “Early next month I will be opening a new French Laundry restaurant in my backyard. We are in desperate need of water for colossal ice sculptures of me — and President Biden of course. I hope he comes.”

    The Governor plans to switch the ice hockey arenas to asphalt with a no bid contract with Hunter Biden’s company named China Asphalt.

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