Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Congress Approves The Use Of Speaking In Tongues To Approve New Spending Bills

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to get more money for important programs like studying the eighty different genders, or the removal of of history, Congress has passed the use of unknown intelligible tongues in order to approve such increases in spending.

    “Tvifitdintj hfbk bjc vhjbchk tuhew. Tsjve ght ghytte hkcslipew ghyvcxl efsjfofrcj,” commented Speaker Nancy Pelosi who strongly agreed with the new motion.

    No translators were present since they were not needed. But sources close to Spaghetti Thumbs tell us that the move was made to improve communication in hopes of reaching more bipartisan agreements.

    No republicans were present either for the vote as they miss took the invitation to the meeting as spam. However we did manage to get an insiders comments from one deputy that was present. Officer Joe Williams had this to say, “It wasn’t the strangest thing I’ve seen in these meetings. I mean I once saw one of the old ladies heads spin around — completely around — like six times around. But I do know that whatever they said it means more — more of everything. Oooo — I got to go it’s lunch!”

    Spaghetti Thumbs will — well we do know what we’ll do since we can’t understand what they are now saying.

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