Wednesday, June 12, 2024
More

    Dear Walter: I’m worried that I can’t trust any news sources anymore!

    More Dear Walter

    Dear Walter,

    I am very worried that I can not trust any of the news sources. Every time I turn on mainstream news I feel like they are trying to push an agenda. But I need to know what is going on in the world and most importantly what the weather is going to be. Please help!

    — Worried Watcher

    Dear Worried Watcher,

    I need to tell you upfront that you should be more than worried — you should be filled with extreme terror. What you see going on is bigger than a liberal agenda — it’s a plague of stupidity — and stupidity kills.

    But the real question is why are you wasting your time watching TV to begin with. You are what’s wrong this country. People in China are not watching TV they are working. You should be working.

    Just turn off the news and buy yourself some blinders. I find that house blinkers work the best to blind yourself of what’s going on around you. For about a hundred dollars you can buy yourself a good pair of leather blinkers and avoid what is going on in the world.

    I like you have turned on the news from time to time and every time I do all they report is the weather. I guess it is really important to people like you. But as far as that goes do what us simple folk do — sick your hand out the window, if it gets wet then it’s raining, if your hand gets cold then grab a jacket, but most importantly remember keep your horse blinkers on.

    If there is one thing I can assure you of it is this — you can trust Spaghetti Thumbs to give you the real news real fake.

    - Advertisement -spot_img

    Even More Dear Walter

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    - Advertisement -spot_img

    Latest article