Thursday, June 13, 2024

    Democrats Add 8th Day To Week To Allow For More Voting

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unanimous vote by the controlling Democrats, a bill passed late this afternoon will extend the week to eight days.

    The name of the new day, which was unanimously decided by one person, Representative AOC, will be called Vonday and will now be the the first day of the week and fall between Sunday and Monday. The move comes as Democrats prepare for the upcoming midterms in hopes to get more people time to mail in their ballots.

    “By allowing an extra day in the week, people will now have the time to fulfill their American right and vote,” stated Speaker Pelosi.

    Former President Trump, who on his first day back on both Facebook and Twitter, posted his remarks about the new day. “More mail in ballets means more fraud! Did I mention that I beat Hilary Clinton by a lot — a lot!” Former President Trump was quickly removed from both platforms — again.

    Meanwhile kindergarten teachers across the country are in a mad frenzy trying to come up with a new song that includes the eighth day, and restaurants are trying to come up with a catchy slogan to increase sales. Vegetable Vonday anybody!

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