Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Disneyland Raises Prices For 10,000th Straight Day

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    ANAHEIM, CA — A day of happiness just got a whole lot more expensive. Disney has announced that they will raise the price of admission of its California parks another $1 making the cost of a one day ticket $30,001.

    “We are doing our best to keep the cost of admission as low as possible,” said CEO Bob Chapek as he ended his press conference, but as he walked out and headed for the bathroom to relieve himself, Chapek’s microphone was left on. Unbeknownst to him the CEO made these remarks, “What suckers! A hundred grand for a day of overpriced food, hour long lines, and crying kids — Yet they keep coming — our parks have never been so packed. Life is good.”

    The cost for a family of four to enter the happiest place on earth is $120,004. So how do guest pay for a day at Disneyland?

    “I took out a second mortgage on my house,” said David Lee, a Los Angels resident and father of three. “We plan to come back for Christmas, so I will probably sell a kidney — can you live with out both kidneys?”

    This is normally the point in our article that we would report the backlash for such actions — but there are none. People will pay anything to go to Disneyland.

    Spaghetti Thumbs Update: At the time this article went to print, Disney has announced another $100 hike in admission bringing the total cost of a one day ticket to $30,101

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