Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Due To Supply Problems Americans Handing Out Medical Face Masks For Halloween

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    Supply Chain problems have left store shelves empty of candy just days before Halloween.

    “It’s not that we didn’t produce enough candy for Halloween,” stated a spokesperson from the candy association that represents all major candy companies. “It’s just that with inflation and the high cost of food we found it cheaper for us and our workers to just eat the candy.”

    The USDA said in a statement that they are doing everything they can to get more candy to Americans. “We understand how important candy is and that is why we are giving millions of dollars to the candy corporations as incentives for them to work harder so that Americans can have candy. But we are also proud to announce that the Biden administration will create a new holiday to eat candy so more Americans can spend money on candy.”

    The actions though have not come quick enough and many American have turned to handing out medical face masks instead of candy this Halloween. Most people after making the switch from disposable face masks to cloth, when they learned that disposable face mask did not protect against the COVID virus as well as cloth, found they had thousands of disposable face masks lying around.

    Cindy Hapons told us that she just wanted kids to be safe. “I want people to be safe and…well…I couldn’t find candy at any store — So I just decided to hand out what I have — and I have a lot of face masks.”

    And Sam Whatts decides that in these uncertain times she prioritized other needs. ”I tried to get candy but after waiting in a line for five hours to get toilet paper there was no candy left by the time I gots there.”

    EDITORIAL NOTE: No further details about the new holiday have yet been released.

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