Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Governors Say Will Stay On Emergency Order Forever

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    In the past two years Governors from all states have declared a state of emergency and fallen in love with their new found powers.

    While many states have relinquish their over reaching control, some governors have decided that they will stay on a state of emergency forever.

    “I actually helped create a red switch that us Govenors to instantly turn on and off our state of emergency,” said Oregon governor Kate Brown. “If someone so much as sneezes I just flip the switch — flip — and the state of emergency is declared. I no longer have to go through any official channels anymore.”

    “I just keep extending our state of emergency,” said governor Gavin Newsom. “I like to keep my people guessing. By putting an end date it gives the people hope even though I have no intention of sticking to that date. Extend. Extend. Extend. It’s the magic word.”

    Many governors have sought to pass laws that make the need for declaring a state of emergency a thing of the past by making it law that their state remain on a state of emergency for the entirety of the state’s existence.

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