Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    House Says Time To Find Other Planets To Control

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the pandemic winding down and government entities releasing their control of emergency orders, officials agree its time to colonize Mars in order to further impose their control of people.

    “First we must establish a viable economy on Mars where people work hard and are happy,” said General Mark Milley. “Then in collaboration with China we will unleash a deadly virus that is only 99.98% survivable. From this we can institute an emergency order that will allow us to accomplish whatever we want into destroying that planet’s economy.”

    “The people here are catching on to our ways,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “They are starting to not listen to us and that is why we believe it is time to find another planet to control. With a new planet we can start all over asserting our emergency powers. We have to start this now before we lose total control over the people here on this planet.”

    Government officials have declared that they have begun construction of a new colony on Mars in which they hope to establish a viable population within the next ten years in order to control.

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