Thursday, June 13, 2024

    Dear Walter: I can’t remember if I pooped today — what should I do?

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    Dear Walter,

    I’m not a forgetful person, but I can’t remember if I pooped today? And now that I think about it, all I want to do is poop, but I don’t think I can. I poop everyday and now I am totally worried that I skipped today and I’m not sure what that will do to me tomorrow? Please Walter help me — what should I do?

    — Forgetful Pooper

    Dear Forgetful Pooper,

    First, I would be inclined to guess your age at something over forty. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s all down hill from here. Your regularity is just one part of your life that is going to change. Gone are the days of daily poops at the end of a long day. You will see thousands of commercials for fiber in order to help get you back to the regularity of your youth. They don’t work. But the good news is that in the years to come you will be back into diapers and will not have to worry about this issue since the proof will be in the diaper.

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