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    IKEA Release New Politically Correct “All Assembly Required” Packaging

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    ÄLMHUMT, SWEDEN — IKEA announced in a press release this morning that all products would now be packaged with a more politically correct statement: All Assembly Required.

    “We just realized that all of our products that need assembly need all of it to be assembled not just some of it to be assembled,” stated IKEA’s CEO Jasper Brodin. “We kind of felt that we were misleading our customers and needed to correct this grave oversight on our part.”

    Betty Whochoo, an IKEA shopper, gave us this comment, “I not know some assembly or all assembly. I just pay extra and IKEA put desk together for me.”

    Sales associate Harper Law told Spaghetti Thumbs that, “This is a game changer — while other companies continue to mislead and perpetuate a lie — we at IKEA let our customers know that our products have not just some assembly, but have all assembly required.”

    Special Note: While doing this report, Spaghetti Thumbs purchased a workstation and tried out the new “All Assembly Required,” but couldn’t but the product together because the instructions were all in Swedish.”

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