Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Israel’s Finds 11th Commandment — Thou Shalt Be Vaccinated

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    JERUSALEM — Israel’s Prime Minister, Naftali Bennett, announced this morning that he has found a stone tablet containing the 11th commandment — Thou Shalt Be Vaccinated.

    The ancient tablet was discovered under the Temple of the Mount by a tourist who was trying to take a selfie near the Western Wall and fell through the floor. Samson Levy recounts the moments he made the discovery, “I was holding up my phone and the next thing I knew I was waking up in a dark hole. I quickly searched for my phone to check my Facebook feed when I saw it — a stone tablet that just looked important. At first I thought am I in the Metaverse, but I quickly realized that I was in a secret part of the Temple that no one had seen in thousands of years. And I was right, because the Israeli Government immediately confiscated my phone.”

    Prime Minister Bennett had the tablet excavated and studied by top archeologist. “I can honestly say that I was surprised to make such a discovery. Vaccination is supper important and now we have the proof that even God thinks so too. He mandated it and so we will mandate vaccinations for everyone in Israel. Anyone who is found breaking this commandment will be arrested.”

    So where is the tablet now?

    No one knows. Bennett had this to say, “The tablet is in very delicate condition and therefor no one will be able to see it — probably ever.”

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