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    Man Farts Constantly For All Of 2021

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    A forty-four year-old man had an unusually year filled will the most unpleasant smell as he laid one long constant fart for all of 2021.

    New Orleans resident, Mr. Gasburg, said that he was celebrating the new year with some take out and a movie — the food in question — broccoli.

    “It all started with a pasta dish filled with broccoli,” said Gasburg. “I felt fine after eating it. I farted once about an hour after dinner — then I farted again — then about another hour after that I farted and it never stopped. I farted all last year. I tried everything to stop it — I ate so much Gas-X — but it did nothing — nothing stopped it.”

    Gasburg says that the fart was not one constant tone, but at certain times had highs and other time had lows, not to mention that certain days were juicier than others. Gasburg also noted that some days were filled with the silent but deadly type.

    “The hardest parts were church and work,” stated Gasburg. “At church our pastor had to speak really loud some Sundays to be heard of my fart, but work was the worst part. I work as a sound engineer, which means I’m stuck inside a small room with two to four other guys and no ventilation — no one appreciated me and I lost a lot of work.”

    Medical expert, Jan Wang, says that the condition is rare, but does happen, and is called Flatgalitus. “There has been three recorded cases in modern medicine, but I am very worried that with all the fast food consumption Americans take in — this could turn into a pandemic of unprecedented measure. We need to act now or our world will be one big fart in the years to come.”

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