Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Man Introduces The VaxClap

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    With certain cities requiring vaccination to do anything outside their house and other cities allowing people to be free to put into their bodies what they want, forty-four year-old Jimmy Juniper, a Los Angeles resident, has made a medical breakthrough and installed a Clapper on his vaccination status.

    Juniper’s new device dubbed the VaxClap allows him to turn on and off his vaccination status as he needs according to what cities require with a simple clap.

    “I can’t discuss the science as it’s super top secret,” stated Juniper, “but I can say that with this new alteration to the best invention ever, I can turn on and off the vaccination in my body. If I am in a city that requires me to be vaccinated — clap— and I’m vaccinated. When I go to a different city and they allow my body to naturally fight off viruses — clap — and the vaccine is out of my body.”

    Juniper further states that the VaxClap allows him to “keep up to date” on his status as well. “If I am in a city that requires a third shot,” says Juniper, “clap — clap — clap and I am triple vaccinated. The VaxClap is future proof — I just need to clap as many times as shots they require.”

    Juniper has no plans to market the VaxClap but says he is working on altering it to work with other mandates as well.

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