Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Mask Maker Introduces Fart Proof Underwear

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    Medical face mask maker, Holey Cloth, the genus behind the shear cloth medical face mask, has announced today that they have created fart proof underwear.

    “Our cloth mask lets people breath, but it also prevents germs or viruses from passing through keeping people protected against such viruses like COVID-19,” stated CEO Micheal Flaggington. “We thought that if we could create a miracle of a mask that prevents deadly viruses from getting in then we could create miracle underwear that prevents deadly farts from getting out. We call the new brand of underwear — Poof. Poof is a miracle clothing perfect for all ages and peoples and is available for order today at the low price of $999 for 3 pairs.”

    President Biden announced that he will mandate that all Americans wear Poof’s at all time later this week, and Jan Psaki added that all climate change migrants will be given the option to wear Poofs upon entering the county.

    Poof comes in all forms, boxers, briefs, and even g-string. Spaghetti Thumbs tested Poofs and in our initial tests we concluded that we either are immune from the gassy side effects of bean and cheese burritos (because that’s all we eat) or that Poofs really do work.

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