Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Mexican President Calls For People To Come Home — Mexico Is Empty

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    MEXICO CITY, MEXICO — Mexico’s President Andrés Manuel López Obrador called for all Mexican citizens to come back home Tuesday morning because his country is now empty.

    “Please come back to Mexico, I promise to make your life less depressing here. This is a pandemic unlike ever before — except COVID that was muy bad,” stated the President, but was also caught making the following comments when he thought the mics were off, “Don’t worry life here will always be depressing for them.” But even knowing about his microphone gaffe Andrés Manuel López Obrador made these promises to his people if they returned, “All citizens that return will get free stuff too like stuff America gives you.”

    In 2020, Mexico’s population was 128 million, but recent reports put the population at 500, as over the past year millions of Mexicans have fled the country for free money, healthcare, and education in the United States.

    “Our production of hot sauce has plummeted and we can no longer supple the county with maracas and everyone knows maracas are the music of angels,” stated Mexico’s Foreign Secretary Marcelo Ebrard. “And the world needs that angelic music more than ever.”

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