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    New CCP Face Mask Prevents Words From Coming Out

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    The new Chinese W95 face mask called Sense-Sure not only prevents most large viruses from getting in, but keeps all words from getting out.

    “We thought that the world could benefit from Sense-Sure just as the people in China do,” said the CEO and creator, Sojin Hawng. “It is equally important if not more important that we protect the governments from words getting out of the peoples mouth than what goes into it, but rest assured that our Sense-Sure masks protect against most sickness, not viruses — I mean who we kidding, but that important note is right on the box.”

    A trillion dollars worth of Sense-Sure face masks have been purchased by the Biden administration which plans to mandate that everyone wear them.

    “We have been instructed by China to have our people wear these masks,” said President Biden before confusion struck. “— um oh what — I wasn’t supposed to say that — stick to the teleprompter — begin quote. We believe that all citizens should be given the proper tools to ensure that this administration looks good and these Sense-Sure face masks will do just that.”

    The administration also declared that all illegal immigrants would be exempt from the new Sense-Sure face mask mandates, but would be given one if requested.

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