Thursday, June 13, 2024

    Pandemic Gives Us The New Couch Potato League

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    Sitting on the couch all day is hard work. Some may think that a person who holds a position on the couch for hours on end is just flat out lazy. But experts agree that they would be wrong — taking residence on the couch is hard work, so much so that professional athletes have started the CPL or Couch Potato League.

    Risen out of the pandemic where professional athletes and non profession athletes have resided on the couch for months on end have turned their new normal into a competition. The object of the game is easy — stay on the couch no matter what. A team is made up of four players and their goal is to get the other teams players off their couch. Players may try anything to remove their opponents from their couch. When all opponents have been removed the team wins and the game is over.

    “The best part of the competition is coming up with new creative way to remove the other team from their couch,” says the CPL’s MVP front runner, Daniel Iverson. “I have been training for this my entire life. Ever since I was little I have been sitting on the couch trying to be removed by my older siblings — in a way I have them to thank for my success.”

    “I admit the game can get a little out of control,” says Washington Potatoskins Head coach, Don Sims. “But even with the dangers of fire bombs I still find the strategy of defending against such attacks thrilling — this game is unlike any other game out there.”

    The CPL is composed of four teams right now with plans to expand to six next year.

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