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    PETA Says Pets Should Be Paid. Being A Pet Is A Job

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    NORFOLK, VIRGINIA — In a press conference held Monday, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) announced that it will fight for wage discrimination against all pets and zoo animals.

    “Pets all over the world are simply depressed, oppressed, and suppressed,” stated PETA spokesperson, Tammy Treeknott. “All pets from dogs to cats to birds and even goldfish should be paid a fair wage and especially those animals that are imprisoned in zoo across the world over.”

    Will Bucknock, Animal scientist and creature activist, had this to say, “Animals are no different than humans. And when a dog sleeps all day he just like his human counterpart is simply depressed due to lack of fulfillment from working hard,” Bucknock emphasized, “Animals all over the world are sleeping more and playing less because they have no job satisfaction.”

    When asked how much a pet should be paid, Tammy Treeknott had this to say. “Pets should not work for just food or giddy smiles from children of a school field trip. Animals deserve equal pay.”

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