Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Seal Team 6 To Deliver KFC To Starving People in New Zealand For Thanksgiving

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    ROME, ITALY — The largest UN agency, World Food Programme announced that it has reached a deal with the White House to send Seal Team 6 into New Zealand in order to deliver KFC for Thanksgiving.

    “People in New Zealand are starving more than any other people on this planet,” said head of the program David Beasley. “We must go to extreme measures to get these beautiful people foods filled with chemicals before they have withdrawals, which probably have already started.”

    Mr. Beasley did not go into details about the operation as to not compromise the mission. However, sources close to Spaghetti Thumbs tell us that General Milley has called New Zealand’s Major General John Boswell to let him know that we do not plan to attack but we are going to deliver KFC via land sea and air.

    Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, has vowed to fight the humanitarian effort with every Tasmanian devil they have. “Yes, currently we have no COVID cases, but my informants have informed me that a two year old has sneezed this morning and you know that kids are the problem in this pandemic. We can not allow fast food, especially trans fats, to spread the disease!”

    When asked how she can justify starving her citizens, Ardern simply stated, “We follow the science!”

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