Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Smart Phones Should Pay Dumb Phones For Being At A Disadvantage

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    A number House Democrats voted for a resolution that would require smart phones to pay dumb phones (and pagers) a stipend because of their not so obvious disadvantages.

    Rep. Maxine Waters, D-Calif., had this to say, “First I would like to remove the term ‘dumb phone’ from our vocabulary — it’s just wrong. Second, I would like to thank my progressive colleagues for passing this resolution because it just isn’t technologically challenged phones fault for how they were made — and in order for them to get sold over there adversary smart phones they need some help — it’s that simple.”

    Starting next month all smart phones will be required to pay a stipend to technologically challenged phones in the amount of $2,000, or their purchase price whichever is greater, once a year for as long as they are in service.

    Opponents of the resolution say that this will ultimately cause smart phones to become less advanced. “Paying a fee like this will ultimately cause smart phones to degenerate into prior versions effectively becoming less attractive — because let’s face it, phones just aren’t that good at money management,” says Howard Jitlick, editor of iTech U Now magazine, “Instead, I say dumb phones should strive to improve their internet connections so that they can provide Facebook updates.”

    Spaghetti Thumbs would like to apologize for the delay in posting this article as it was posted from a technologically challenged typewriter.

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