Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    Thousands Of Aliens Descend On Open Borders In Roswell

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    ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO — Over the past week thousands of U.F.O.s, have been spotted in the open skies of New Mexico.

    Government officials from Area 51 made first contact with the travelers three days ago and were quick to release them into Nevada with the polite request that they return to Area 51 to be studied at a later date.

    Onlookers, who hoped to be probed, had this to say, “Those spaceships better run on electricity — we can’t afford any more pollutants!” And “I wonder if they know how to vote by mail?”

    In an exclusive interview with one alien who asked to remain anonymous, but was only identified by the green wristband it was wearing, had this to say, “Once we found out about the open borders we fled our home planet to be resettled here by the American government knowing that we will get a lot of free stuff, in our home planet we have to work and pay for everything.”

    Hundreds of ships fill the skies daily and space trash litters the surrounding desert. When asked about it, Alejandro Mayorkas from the department homeland security responded by stating that “all Planet Adjacent Binaries have been fully vetted.”

    Alien quotes were translated from Google’s new Martian Translate app.

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