Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    VaxRing: The Doorbell That Announces Vaccinations

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    Protect your home and family with the VaxRing, the only doorbell that not only lets you know when someone is at your door, but also alerts you to their vaccination status as well.

    “People want to to know more than just who is at their door, they want to feel safe that whoever is on their welcome mat is vaccinated,” said CEO of VaxRing, Kyle Hatch. “Our doorbell takes a small drop of blood and reports all the vaccines that they have had straight to your smartphone. Never again do you have to wonder if the guy delivering your pizza is also delivering you a case of COVID too.”

    Co-founded by Hunter Biden, VaxRing runs all information through a Chinese database that the company says is the most secure on the planet.

    “Yes, a small sample of your DNA is taken, but the information is destroyed after 55 years so you don’t have to worry about any scientist using it for some gain-of-function research in China,” said VaxRing spokesperson, Wanda Jackson. “Our technology is safe and effective and works on .01% of people.”

    Press Secretary Jen Psaki released this statement about the new doorbell, “The President feels very passionate about this new technology and will make VaxRing available to all property owners,” said Psaki. “and the really great thing about this plan is that is will literally cost nothing to manufacture and mail out to everyone.”

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