Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    White House To Give Everyone Free Happy Meals

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House announced this morning that the Biden Administration will be delivering free Happy Meals to every household strating next month.

    In a hope to recover from the worst first year of any President, Joe Biden has ordered 1.3 billion Happy Meals to be delivered, at four per household, early next month in hope that people will forget how poor of a job he has done and make the Nation happy once again.

    White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki addressed reporters questions about the timing of the Happy Meal delivery and wondered if it was too late for the country to once again be happy.

    “No, it’s not too late,” said Psaki. “Well, I mean it might be to late, but it’s not to late for this administration — the President is never too late, he is on his own time frame an the rest of the country needs to get on his schedule — including Covid.”

    Other reporters wondered if the President’s remarks were to divisive and harsh and that maybe free chicken nuggets would not be able to fix the division that he has caused.

    “Happy Meals are the solution,” retorted Psaki. “It’s literally in the name — Happy Meal. Once every American, Climate Migrant, and American Adjacent receives their Happy Meal they will once again be happy to be in this great Nation.”

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