Wednesday, June 12, 2024

    White House Warns Of Virus Surge, Says Consent Stream Of Vaccine Protects Best

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — White House officials warned the American public of another virus surge this winter and say that the best protection is a constant vaccine IV drip into your body.

    “We know that no vaccine is a hundred percent,” said President Biden this morning from the Oval Office. “We also acknowledge that vaccine protection wanes within months — that’s why we now suggest that people skip their 43rd booster shot and connect themselves to a constant IV drip of the vaccine.”

    Dr. Fauci added that it is safe and effective for one to mix and match vaccine IV drips too. “People need to know that this virus is extremely contagious and highly transmissible, but we don’t see any reason to shut anything down because it’s not that bad. I repeat this virus is really really bad, but don’t worry or change any of your holiday plans this winter because it’s not that bad — but it’s really really bad — but not to worry bad — just make sure you hook yourself up to a 24 hour IV drip of the vaccine and you will be protected.”

    The White House also announced that IV vaccine drips will be available to everyone free of charge because they do not cost anything to produce, but they will not send one to every American.

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